There is no ‘normal’ level of libido, and it can vary from one person to another. Libido can fluctuate and may be influenced by medical conditions, hormones, medications, lifestyle, and stress.
Eating healthy, avoiding excessive alcohol and drug use, managing stress levels, and getting enough physical activity can help. If you suspect an underlying health issue is causing low libido, talk to your doctor.
1. Make Him Feel Special
The libido is one of the most important aspects to a man’s happiness, and if it is low, he may feel like he is less attractive or not enough for his wife. Despite differences in desire, you can still make your partner feel loved and wanted by doing little things that are nonsexual, such as spending time with him away from the kids, cuddling, and even just talking.
Many times, when men have low libido, it is due to anxiety. In addition to being physically unhealthy, anxiety can also interfere with the brain’s ability to function properly, which impacts libido. Fortunately, there are several ways to reduce your anxiety levels, including psychotherapy, medication, or natural modalities such as meditation.
It is also important to remember that libido fluctuates throughout life, and it is normal for it to dip at times. A low libido can be caused by everyday stress, certain foods or supplements, or even age. However, it is always a good idea to consult a doctor to rule out an underlying health issue.
2. Make Him Feel Loved
Men and women alike experience ebbs and flows in libido over time. This is perfectly normal and to be expected. However, what isn’t okay is feeling like you need to sexually stimulate your partner every single day in order to feel fulfilled.
If your husband is struggling with a low libido, make sure he knows that you still love him and find him attractive. It’s easy to get caught up in assuming that your spouse isn’t interested in sex because they aren’t “feeling it,” but this could be any number of reasons including fatigue, a lack of physical intimacy, or anxiety.
Help him overcome his challenges by working together to come up with solutions. For example, if his libido is decreased because of stress, encourage him to seek out relaxation strategies as a couple such as yoga or meditation. Also, ask him if there are any things that can be done to reduce his daily levels of stress such as cutting back on work or chores. In addition to this, consider getting him to see a counselor individually or if needed, as part of a couples counseling session.
3. Make Him Feel Appreciated
Many people who struggle with low libido feel embarrassed that their interest in each other has waned. They may also worry that if they don’t get things back on track, their marriage is doomed. It’s important to remember that sex is only one aspect of marriage, and the love, friendship, laughter and lifelong partnership that binds your family together is equally as important.
Men may take their partners’ lack of sex drive personally, and assume that there is something wrong with them. It’s important to understand that a man’s libido can be impacted by a wide variety of factors. Everything from extra stress at work to an underlying health condition can affect it.
Similarly, it’s important to let him know that you appreciate and respect him, even when he isn’t feeling particularly interested in sex. Whether it’s a simple back massage after a hard day at the office, or an enthusiastic compliment when he tells you about a recent career success, let him know that he is valued. Providing affirmation will make him feel good about himself and his role in the relationship.
4. Make Him Feel Worthy
In a world that blames women for low libido, men often feel embarrassed when they have less interest in sex. They may blame themselves, think they are the cause of the problem and try to change their behavior. But it could be any number of things that are going on in their lives, including stress at work, hormone fluctuations, the state of their health and even a breakdown in their relationship.
A sudden change in libido should be checked out by a doctor to make sure there isn’t an underlying health issue. However, there are also foods, supplements and lifestyle changes that can help boost libido.
Remind him how much he means to you and give him lots of loving compliments. If you enjoy sex between the sheets, let him know by giving him plenty of feedback (he will likely improve his performance). Tell him when you are impressed with how good he is in bed. Men want to hear that they are doing a good job! Share your excitement about his accomplishments, such as bagging a big contract or winning the lottery, as this will make him feel proud and loved.
5. Make Him Feel Special
A decrease in sexual desire can cause a lot of problems in a relationship. Men may feel emasculated, and women can feel like they’re not sexually attractive anymore. Oftentimes, when libido starts to drop, it’s due to a number of things, including stress at work, fatigue from being a parent, and poor sleep habits.
The good news is that libido usually fluctuates throughout life, and there are foods, supplements, and lifestyle changes that can boost it. However, if you’re concerned that your partner has a low libido because of an underlying health condition, consult with your doctor.
Also, be sure to pay attention to how your partner is acting in the bedroom, and avoid putting too much pressure on them to have sex if they don’t want to. Finally, if nothing seems to be working, it might be worth trying a sex therapist. This can be a great way to get the conversation going, and it’s certainly not something to be ashamed of! Just be sure to do your research first. Many sex therapists specialize in different issues, so it’s important to find one that is a good fit for you and your partner.