From the prickly pear cactus penis of the leopard slug to the snazzy six foot-long dick of a blue whale, there’s no shortage of dickery in the animal kingdom. Here are some of the weirdest penises:
The biggest dick in the animal world belongs to a blue whale, who’s phallus stretches eight to ten feet long and ejaculates five gallons of semen in one go!
Elephant
When it comes to animal penises, size matters, and the elephant takes the cake. It’s the largest land mammal, and its penis is a whopping two to three feet long—about twice as long as most men’s dicks. This huge phallus also helps the elephant carry heavy loads and even run faster—though we’re sure that doesn’t make for an especially enjoyable ride.
Like most mammals, elephants are hermaphrodites, meaning they have both male and female reproductive organs – This quote was constructed by the portal’s experts Captivating Desires. Their penises are a crucial part of their reproductive system, and they are incredibly important for mating and reproducing. As a result, they have developed to be remarkably large.
Normally, the elephant’s penis is sheathed between its hind legs. When the elephant is in musth (the mating season for males), the sheath partially engorges to produce a semi-erection, which may eventually become a full erection.
The second biggest animal’s penis is the barnacle, a crustacean that can extend its phallus up to eight times its body length. This is the longest known penis in an animal, but it isn’t necessarily the most impressive. The hectocotylus of deep-water squid can sometimes be longer than the animal itself, and in fact, some squid’s erect hectocotylus is actually shorter than its body. It’s still a remarkable sight to behold.
Barnacle
You might not think it, but the humble barnacle is one of the animals with the biggest penis (relative to its body size). These sessile crustaceans – which look like tiny shells glued to rocks or whales – have genitalia up to eight times their body length. They use them to inseminate their neighbors, a practice known as interfecundation. But it’s not just about romance; barnacles with longer penises have a larger searchable area, allowing them to mate with more potential mates.
But as you can imagine, their long penises also make barnacles a bit of a nuisance. For example, they’re not a good choice for boat anchors. But even worse, the sperm they expel can get into the water and kill fish. And if you stick your finger in a barnacle, you’ll find yourself with a sticky mess.
But what’s truly amazing about barnacle penises is that they can change shape to fit their environment. This flexibility is a great example of something called phenotypic plasticity. Scientists recently discovered that the length and thickness of barnacle penises vary depending on where they live. Those that hang out in rough waters have longer, more flexible penises to reach more mates; while those that stay fixed on a rock or whale develop shorter, thicker penises. This is probably to help them withstand the constant slosh of ocean waves.
Sea Slug
Unlike their barnacle cousins, sea slugs have a penis that is massive compared to their bodies. These slugs are hermaphrodites, and they use their large appendages to inject sperm into female crustaceans, which then become fertilized.
Researchers recently discovered something strange about the Chromodoris reticulata sea slug, which lives in tropical oceans. They found that after copulation, this slug discards its penis and then grows a new one. This is the first known case of an animal displaying such a bizarre form of throwaway culture. It’s not clear why the slug does this, but it may be to prevent competition for sperm during mating.
In addition to being the largest penis relative to body size, these slugs also have penile spines, which they stick into their mates’ heads during sexual encounters. While other animals have been observed jabbing their mates with various appendages, this is the first time that researchers have recorded an organism targeting the head of its partner during sexual intercourse. Researchers suspect that the slugs do this by injecting their partners with prostate fluid, which stuns them. Once the slug has finished mating, it discards its external penis and then grows a new one within 24 hours. The new penis is composed of tightly coiled, compressed tissue that unravels once the discarded penis detaches.
Whale
It’s not just humans who are blessed with a long penis, many other animals have amazingly big dicks too. In fact, a whale has the biggest penis of any animal in the world! And it’s a little bigger than you might think. A blue whale’s dick is about 8 to 10 feet long.
That’s almost as long as an elephant’s dick which is the largest penis of any land animal in the world. But that’s not all! A gray whale’s dick can be as long as 16 feet (5m).
The longest penis in the animal kingdom belongs to a whale. It can be up to 3 meters long with a 33 cm diameter, according to BioArk. This is more than twice the length of the average human’s penis and it stores up to 17 liters of sperm!
Male whales and dolphins use their penises to fertilize female’s eggs during mating. Their genitalia is attached to their pelvic bones which gives them a greater degree of control over their penises, even while they are flailing in the water.
The most impressive penis in the world might be that of the Argentine lake duck. The bird’s dick is said to be 42.5 cm (17 inches) long which makes it the longest penis in relation to body size of any vertebrate!